Honoring Your Parents: Accepting the Death of a Loved One

When someone close to us dies, it turns our world upside down. Whether it’s a friend, a coworker, or a neighborhood acquaintance, death often evokes upsetting emotions. These emotions can go to the extreme when it’s a parent’s death you are facing. As our parents reach the end of their life, it can be excruciatingly difficult for us to deal with the fact that their days are numbered. Why is that?

Facing The Reality Of Death

The death of both of my parents was long and drawn out. I accompanied both of them in the final stage of their journey, and I have other family members who are also getting close to the end. In my community, I have known and loved many people who passed away. You will have to face and deal with death when you are involved in the lives of others.

To go even further, the life insurance business has exposed me to death over and over again. Isn’t that the purpose of life insurance – to make sure your loved ones receive benefits when you die? Once you have been in the field long enough, you can’t help but get involved in processing claims and often end up creating close relationships with some of your clients.

Every death hurts, some more than others. The death of a close relative can be devastating, while others may be less painful, but nonetheless sad. As I continuously work to process both the small and significant traumas, I’m attempting to identify what I have learned so I can handle the next one a bit better. I have had the good fortune of getting my hands on beneficial books, both practical and spiritual, and have a network of friends and advisers who offer valuable guidance. These resources have assisted me in forming a perspective that, as it turns out, helps me deal not only with death but with life as well.

Here are three lessons I have learned that I want to share with you:

1. Life Is Precious

Both my mother and my father fought hard to get something out of their last days. They knew the end was near but still wanted to make their last bit of life worthwhile and meaningful. They wanted to be surrounded by loved ones, even if just for a few minutes, and savored the last sips of their favorite tea or enjoyed the final strains of their preferred music. But they also desired to be left alone to make their final preparations.

Their actions taught me that no matter what stage of life you are in, you can’t give up. Even if you are nearing the end, you should desire to go out with a warm spot in your heart and a smile on your face. Our job is to gift our parents with these humble yet significant things that make all the difference in the world: the moments of pleasure, small joys, or peaceful solitude. They may not seem like much, but they mean everything to those who are dying. When we focus on how precious each moment of life is, it helps us to keep a smile on our face too, even amidst our tears of grief.

2. Fight The Good Fight For Them

When people are incapacitated due to illness or injury, they become dependent on others for their care and welfare. This can be an incredibly humbling and disheartening time for those in this position, so you need to step up and be an advocate for their needs. Many resources are available, including doctors and nurses, home healthcare aides, and facilities such as nursing homes, adult day care centers, and dialysis centers.

Like every other business, the healthcare industry includes the good, the bad, and the ugly,  especially when it comes to dealing with seniors. We have capable doctors and poor doctors, great aides but also inept or even downright abusive caretakers. I became personally involved in making sure my parents received the proper care and I continue to do so today for other family members who are ailing. Doing my part was and is cathartic. While it’s challenging to know what people need when they are dying, don’t just be a bystander. Find tasks to complete that will help them retain their dignity.

3. It’s Not About You

In a time of intense emotions, it’s easy to take things personally or become too invested in issues that shouldn’t be taking up your time and energy. If you are on the front lines of your parents’ care, you are often exposed to more of their pain and suffering, which can stir up your own feelings of remorse, guilt, empathy, or denial.

It’s easy to take out your emotions on the various care providers you come in contact with throughout the ordeal. The slightest mistake or act of neglect can seem like the crime of the century. You may become angry when the medication arrives thirty minutes late or when a nurse acts too rough.

The solution is not an easy one, though. You need to look inside and work on yourself, processing and filtering your own feelings so you can control and channel the whirlpool of emotions inside of you. Good caregivers also deal with some level of grief in this situations, and the best reaction for everyone involved is to step back, let go, and never forget the main purpose: doing what’s best for the patient. If we can be strong enough to let go, then your parent will feel the freedom to let go when it’s time for them to take their last breath.

These are heavy issues, but unfortunately, they are a fact of life. The older we get, the more likely it is that we will face this situation, so it’s wise to prepare yourself now and obtain the right perspective for those difficult days. Have you seen these principles in action? Do you have any other tips or advice that helped you through a similar situation? I’d love to hear your stories. Contact me at skobrin@stevenkobrin.com.

 

About Steve

Steven Kobrin is a life insurance expert with 25 years experience. He serves high net-worth individuals and business owners as well as high risk and uninsurable “impaired cases.” Steven offers concierge life insurance process to ensure the policy is approved as it’s quoted. To learn more, visit his website, read his blog, connect with him on LinkedIn, or request a policy audit today by calling his office at (866) 633-1818 or by email at skobrin@stevenkobrin.com. Steven is a contributor to Investopedia, view his profile here.

 

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Honoring Your Parents: How Long Should You Stay Married?

This may seem like an odd question, but have you ever thought about how long you should stay married? The traditional idea, and what you often hear in wedding vows, is “til death do us part.” My parents certainly came from that school of thought. They fought until the bitter end, and then death did indeed separate them into their respective corners (the boxing analogy says it all).

Is this the path you would choose for your own marriage? Would you recommend it to your children? I wouldn’t. Why would you?

When Relationships Go Wrong

Some people in a relationship are like oil and water; they never quite mix. In some cases, they may even be as explosive as gasoline and fire. Regardless, they have their reasons for staying together.

According to Huffington Post, finances are one of the top ten reasons people stay in an unhealthy marriage. (1) It can be daunting to consider not only paying for a divorce, but also dividing all the shared financial interests. Others stay together due to insecurity and fear of succeeding on their own. Then, there are those who have unhealthy mindsets of guilt, over-dependence or manipulation that lock them into bad relationships.

But despite the reason, is it worth it to stay in such a relationship? In my conversations with my parents, elder relatives, and personal and business contacts through the years, I have heard some heart-wrenching stories about people blowing up their marriages when they arrive at the golden years of their life. You would be shocked to know that I have come across situations of murder, suicide, rampant cheating, and plenty of psychological, emotional, and physical abuse.

Sadly, I have no answers or keen insight as to why people stay married and torture each other in this way. But I can identify several principles for living that can prevent your marriage from going down a tragic road. Since I am passionate about martial arts, consider these my tips for marriage self-defense:

1. Never Accept Second-Rate Treatment

No one person is better than another. We all deserve to be treated with respect and kindness as human beings. While there are hierarchies and power dynamics in every relationship, such as inequalities in income and social position, none of these factors makes somebody a lesser person. If somebody starts treating you in this way, correct the situation immediately. Don’t let it become a habit.

2. Commit To Self-Improvement

You won’t become a master at assertiveness or communication overnight. It takes work, sacrifice, and commitment. And it’s not just a question of protecting yourself from bullying; you need to make sure you don’t become a bully yourself and add fuel to the fire. You must find a way to embrace peaceful coexistence in your heart and try to steer your partner to do the same. Any act of self-defense on your part has to be focused on putting an end to the fighting.

3. Be Self-Sufficient

Hopefully, your relationship will work out. But sometimes that doesn’t happen. If you find yourself in that situation, then you need to be prepared to leave and start over. You can do this by having your own money, opening your own accounts, and coming up with a Plan B.  Even if you are in a season of not working or staying home taking care of family responsibilities, you can take steps to put yourself in a position to succeed. Brainstorm ideas of what you could do if you had to end the relationship and start out on your own. Even if you never make the move, having that kind of leverage and confidence could cause your bad apple spouse to back off.

No one wants to think about their relationship imploding, but it does happen. Before things go too far down an unhealthy path, look at ways you could defend yourself and turn the situation around. Examine your life and your future and be excited, not depressed or anxious. Have you been through this? Do you have questions about ways you can protect yourself or set yourself up for a favorable future? Ask anything at skobrin@stevenkobrin.com.

About Steve

Steven Kobrin is a life insurance expert with 25 years experience. He serves high net-worth individuals and business owners as well as high risk and uninsurable “impaired cases.” Steven offers concierge life insurance process to ensure the policy is approved as it’s quoted. To learn more, visit his website, read his blog, connect with him on LinkedIn, or request a policy audit today by calling his office at (866) 633-1818 or by email at skobrin@stevenkobrin.com. Steven is a contributor to Investopedia, view his profile here.

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(1) http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/12/15/why-people-stay-in-unhappy-marriages_n_6330292.html

 

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Honoring Your Parents: Is it Wrong to Want to Die?

What would you do if somebody told you they wanted to die? After the initial shock, your response would greatly depend on the relationship you have with the person who asked the question. For example, if a family member broached this question, you would do whatever you could to help them. If a perfect stranger asked it while perched on a bridge as you passed by, you would be alarmed and call the police. Regardless of the scenario, you would not ignore the question and risk the chance that they would do something to hurt themselves. You would take action.

Let’s look at it a different way. What if the person asking is old and sick? Would you feel as compelled to save them? Would you still be driven to do whatever is necessary to stop them from killing themselves? Without considering suicide, would you try to convince someone who is suffering that life is still worth living?

These aren’t your run-of-the-mill questions, but many children of elderly parents have to face this situation and find a way to deal with the heaviness of it. In my personal and professional experience, I’ve developed the following mindset when confronted by a loved one wanting death to overtake them.

Take Moral Judgment Out Of The Equation

Personally, I believe suicide is wrong. We were given our lives by the Creator, and it’s not up to us to decide when to give them back. Even though I hold fast to my beliefs, it’s not my job to enforce any code of morality. Each one of us needs to uphold our end of the bargain with the Creator on our own.

There are certain situations where we are justified to take measures to protect someone from doing something rash, such as with those who are emotionally or mentally disturbed and aren’t in the right mind to make decisions themselves. But for someone who is stable and just doesn’t want to go on, the best we can do is get them some solid counseling with someone who has the skills to help them deal with their situation properly.

It’s Not About You

When it comes to dealing with emotional family issues, it’s difficult to not take things personally. When family members or friends are in the throes of despair, we often want to save them. We want to take away their pain and set them on the right path. These are noble intentions, but it’s important to examine our motivation behind these desires.

It’s not a bad thing to feel desperate or hopeless. Life can get messy and cause burdens to pile up, and it’s natural for us to feel the pain of those around us and want to help. But we must be careful to determine whose pain it is we want to end. We have to put our loved ones first and not try to make them feel better so that we feel better ourselves. Our pain is our business. Their pain is their business. Our job is to give them the time and space to deal with it.

Accept The Natural Order Of Things

The prospect of losing somebody we love is agonizing. Watching them suffer is torture. And hearing them plead for it all to end almost makes you want to help them do it. But we have to remember that all lives come to an end. There is no stopping the cycle of birth and death that governs our time here on earth. At the end of the day, we have to accept it and work through it as best as we can. So when you are grappling with seeing a loved one suffer, interpret their cries for relief as them sensing that their end is near and struggling to accept their fate.

Old age can be a miserable time. Every day can bring a new form of pain and discomfort. Familiar aches return with a vengeance, and even the strongest and most stubborn of people can fall into despair and depression. Who can blame them for wanting to throw in the towel? Instead of letting your emotions take over, do whatever you can to support them in this sensitive time. While this is an intense issue to handle, know that you are not alone. Many others are also working through similar situations. If you have any questions or would like to share your story, contact me at skobrin@stevenkobrin.com. I’d love to hear from you.

About Steve

Steven Kobrin is a life insurance expert with 25 years experience. He serves high net-worth individuals and business owners as well as high risk and uninsurable “impaired cases.” Steven offers concierge life insurance process to ensure the policy is approved as it’s quoted. To learn more, visit his website, read his blog, connect with him on LinkedIn, or request a policy audit today by calling his office at (866) 633-1818 or by email at skobrin@stevenkobrin.com. Steven is a contributor to Investopedia, view his profile here.

 

Want to learn more?
Read my free guide, How To Get Great Life Insurance Rates and learn how you can get life insurance companies to compete for your business, at no risk or extra cost.

Honoring Your Parents: Do You Know How to Die?

honoring parents how to die

Do you know how to die? That’s probably not a question you get asked every day. Most people don’t want to think about it, and I can’t say I blame them. While those in dangerous occupations, such as police officers or soldiers, are forced to deal with the reality of death, the rest of us tend to put it off until a terminal illness or other tragic event occurs.

When people decide to buy life insurance, they are, in some way, acknowledging the fact that they will die. But very few consider how they will die. The clients with whom I have broached this subject with often brush it off with a sarcastic or humorous response, which is one way to avoid the more serious side of the issue.

In my career as a life insurance salesperson, I have expedited many death claims. I also accompanied both my parents in the final stage of their lives, helping them make their final preparations. One critical lesson I have learned from this experience is that how you die is very much a result of how you live. The more peace you have found in this lifetime, the more peace you will have when you leave it

Here are three ways in which a peaceful life can lead to a peaceful death:

Get Your Financial House In Order

Nobody wants to deal with money issues. If you make financial mistakes when you are young, you have the luxury of time to recover from them. But when you are old, your capability of generating new income is limited. When you enter the last stage of your life, you don’t want it to be fraught with financial worries.

What does it mean to plan ahead and prepare? Think through a big-picture blueprint for all of your assets to protect your investments, your legacy, and most importantly, your loved ones, then start taking steps to get all the pieces in place.

Find Peace With Those Around You

When people realize their last day is coming, they understand they are out of second chances. There is no time left to tell people how you feel or to apologize for your misdeeds. You don’t want to die with regrets and remorse on your conscience, so get in the habit of clearing your slate with those in your life. If you owe someone money, make sure you pay off the debt in full. If you owe someone an apology, give it immediately. Delaying may only result in running out of time.

Set The Stage For A Comfortable Transition

It’s crucial for people to feel that they are in a good, safe place with the right relationships, the right job, the right school. Don’t settle for less by sticking it out in an uncaring environment. This will be especially important to you in the final stage of your life.

I have found that people really care about where they die. Both my parents were adamant about not ending their life in a nursing home. They wanted to die at home, in familiar surroundings, amongst caring people. Because it was a priority to them, my family made sure it happened the way they desired. As an example, one of the most inspiring stories I’ve heard was of a gentleman who spent almost his entire life in one home, tending a luscious garden for many years. When he knew that his final day had arrived, he simply walked into that garden, his favorite place, and lay down. That is where his wife found him.

As a life insurance sales person, family member, and friend, I feel it is my duty to help people set the stage for their passing as comfortably as they can. That often means helping them decide how to live comfortably, with peace of mind and confidence in their plans. If you or your loved ones have never considered the question of how you will die and know that you have some missing pieces to take care of, contact me at skobrin@stevenkobrin.com. I am happy to help you make the most of your life.

About Steve

Steven Kobrin is a life insurance expert with 25 years experience. He serves high net-worth individuals and business owners as well as high risk and uninsurable “impaired cases.” Steven offers concierge life insurance process to ensure the policy is approved as it’s quoted. To learn more, visit his website, read his blog, connect with him on LinkedIn, or request a policy audit today by calling his office at (866) 633-1818 or by email at skobrin@stevenkobrin.com. Steven is a contributor to Investopedia, view his profile here.

 

Want to learn more?
Read my free guide, How To Get Great Life Insurance Rates and learn how you can get life insurance companies to compete for your business, at no risk or extra cost.

Honoring Your Parents: Feeling for Them, Not with Them

honoring parents feeling

Getting old is a challenge. For many people, it is probably the ultimate test in life as they realize they are not invincible and that their mortality is a reality. As each day goes by, their strength, vitality, and overall physical condition weaken. They may find that everyday activities are harder to get through and that they don’t bounce back as quickly.

Aging is also difficult for family members. Those of us who have walked with our parents through the final stages of their lives have experienced this hardship. There is an unnatural role reversal, where those who took care of you through your life now need you to take care of them. This dependence can be taxing on your time and finances and cause a heavy emotional burden for you to carry. How do you handle this painful process? How do you approach this situation with grace and sensitivity?

The Burden Of Empathy

Empathy is usually seen in a positive light. We consider it a noble venture to feel another’s pain and try to understand their plight. That may be true, but there is a limit to empathy. If we go through life feeling the pain of all the people around us who are hurting, we will quickly become overwhelmed and overloaded. This is especially true when caring for ailing elders, whose typical day can be full of suffering.

According to the National Alliance for Caregiving, 85% of caregivers care for a relative, with 49% of them taking care of a parent or parent-in-law. This refers to any level of care, from a few hours a week to a full-time situation. The report shows that caring for a parent is more emotionally stressful, especially for those who feel they have no choice in taking on the caregiver role.

We want to show respect and repay all the love and care that was invested in us, but how do we do it without burning out?

Compassion, Not Empathy

A recent Wall Street Journal article by psychologist Paul Bloom shows us an alternative perspective. He declares that the emphasis should be on compassion, not empathy. According to a neuroscience study in Current Biology, compassion is distinguished from empathy in that it doesn’t mean sharing in the suffering others. Instead, compassion is centered on concern, care, and a desire to improve the other’s well being. It’s about feeling for someone, not with them.

If you are in a season of walking through some trials with your parents, compassion will make more of a difference than empathy. Your parents don’t need someone to feel their pain, but someone who can support, encourage, and treat them with kindness and respect. It’s a difficult road to walk, but one on which our parents need us. Have you seen this concept of compassion versus empathy play out in your life? Have you, or are you currently, watching your parents age and struggle as they enter the final phase of life? As someone who has been through it, I’d love to chat with you and hear your thoughts. Ask anything at skobrin@stevenkobrin.com.

About Steve

Steven Kobrin is a life insurance expert with 25 years experience. He serves high net-worth individuals and business owners as well as high risk and uninsurable “impaired cases.” Steven offers concierge life insurance process to ensure the policy is approved as it’s quoted. To learn more, visit his website, read his blog, connect with him on LinkedIn, or request a policy audit today by calling his office at (866) 633-1818 or by email at skobrin@stevenkobrin.com. Steven is a contributor to investopedia, view his profile here.

 

Want to learn more?
Read my free guide, How To Get Great Life Insurance Rates and learn how you can get life insurance companies to compete for your business, at no risk or extra cost.

Honoring Your Parents: Learning From How They Started Over

honoring-parents-starting-over

As we enter a new year, we often take the time to reevaluate and look ahead with excitement and motivation. Aren’t you thankful that life is full of these second chances? That you always have an opportunity to try again, to grow, to learn, and to improve? This is a valuable life lesson that I learned from my parents, and I am thankful I had their example to follow.

What I Learned From Their Story

My mom and dad both came from immigrant families who moved to America searching for the land of hope and promise. Their families were originally from the Old Country, and they eventually settled in New York City, where I was raised. As my sister and I grew up, my parents moved us to the peace and quiet of the suburbs, and this change marked two significant moves in two generations, both of them to better situations.

But their story does not only include moves to different physical locations; it also involves major career shifts.

My mom started her working life as a secretary in a college psychology department. She then moved on to teacher training and ended up as the editor of an academic journal. She was always involved with education, but in a different role with each job.

My father began in show business. After that, he stepped into life insurance sales and then branched into motivational speaking. He ended his career in the travel business. He was ever the promoter and entertainer, but on a different stage each time.

What do their experiences with location moves and career changes teach me? What are some lessons I can apply to my life?

1. There’s Always Room to Grow

Yes, transitioning between cities and careers is no easy feat, but the changes that most impressed me were the personal transformations that occurred as they walked through the obvious outwards changes.

Dad started out in the wild world of show business, settled down to become a family man, and went on to build multiple successful businesses. Mom was the bookworm living at home, became the busy mother of two little ones, got involved in the school, and went on to establish herself as a key person in several businesses. Different ages, different stages, different ladders to climb. They saw the value in continual personal growth and accepted new opportunities as life afforded them.

2. How to Prepare for Change

As I think about all the changes my parents went through, I see how well they prepared me to deal with the inevitable changes in my own life. I saw that they did not fear the new things life threw at them, and so I never experienced fear at the prospect of a new job, a new school, or a new set of friends.

Career-wise, I had five different jobs before I ended up in the life insurance business. I spent ten years post-college in various sales-related positions before I landed in a career. In hindsight, I can see how each position brought me a step closer to reaching the end-goal. If I had let fear of change hold me back, I would not be where I am today, and I have my parents to thank for that.

3. How to Appreciate Every Stage of Life

On a personal level, life also moves in steps and stages. I started out single, got married, and became a father. As life moved on, I then got the incredible privilege of becoming a grandfather. I was fortunate to be able to witness both of my parents in the role of grandparents as well. I learned how to move through life’s many phases by watching my parents accept each new season with grace.

The only guarantee in life is change. My parents walked through momentous changes in their lives, and I can honor them by taking the time to examine what made them successful and content through life’s transitions and following their example.

What can you learn by looking back at how your parents lived? Are there any key lessons that stand out to you? I’d love to hear your thoughts! Contact me at skobrin@stevenkobrin.com to share your stories.

About Steve

Steven Kobrin is a life insurance expert with 25 years experience. He serves high net-worth individuals and business owners as well as high risk and uninsurable “impaired cases.” Steven offers concierge life insurance process to ensure the policy is approved as it’s quoted. To learn more, visit his website, read his blog, connect with him on LinkedIn, or request a policy audit today by calling his office at (866) 633-1818 or by email at skobrin@stevenkobrin.com. Steven is a contributor to investopedia, view his profile here.

 

Want to learn more?
Read my free guide, How To Get Great Life Insurance Rates and learn how you can get life insurance companies to compete for your business, at no risk or extra cost.

Honoring Your Parents: Dealing With Their Bigotry

bigotry

While bigotry and prejudice still run rampant in many ways, America is a country that works tirelessly to fight discrimination. I can’t think of another nation in the world that takes a stronger stance against persecution based on race, color, religion, political views, gender, economic class, or other personal qualities.

We are far from perfect in this ongoing battle, but significant strides have been made in our nation’s short history to implement change. For example, our first black president is currently getting ready to leave office. One of the two candidates who ran to replace him was a woman. And our president-elect chose the first woman to run his campaign and is considering a gay man for a cabinet post.

If that’s not progress, I don’t know what is! But how do you handle bigotry when it hits close to home? How do you deal with parents who seem to display forms of prejudice?

What is Bigotry?

At the very basic level, bigotry occurs when someone is intolerant or hostile towards those who are different. Bigots are often seen as closed-minded individuals who can’t handle anyone who thinks differently than they do. Calling someone a bigot is a pretty strong statement, so it’s important to look below the surface and see what’s really going on.

Look Beyond the Language

I’ve recognized that people may say things that sound hateful, but when you take the time to get to know them better you realize that their unrefined speech was not intended to hurt anyone. My father and many of his generation are great examples of this.

My father was the son of Russian immigrants who fled the Tsarist revolution at the beginning of the 20th century. He grew up in Brooklyn, New York, amongst many other immigrant families. I grew up listening to his exciting stories of the turf wars that took place between the children of these immigrants as they sought to establish themselves in the New World. All of the different groups, the Jews, Italians, Irish, and so on, worked to stake a claim in their part of the neighborhood. They fought each other to protect their own.

When my father told these stories, he often used what some people would call derogatory terms to describe his ethnic adversaries. If you didn’t know him, you would consider him a bigot. Unfortunately, that would be a rash assessment that would take away from who my father really was.

My father had close friends of every ethnic background. He employed a wide variety of sales people in his insurance agency and he deliberately recruited brokers of different races, religions, and ethnicities to prospect their home communities. This was such a standard practice that the insurance industry actually has a name for it: “natural marketing.” 

What Bigotry Isn’t

So how do you explain his so-called bigotry? First of all, you must recognize that if you grow up in a rough neighborhood, you develop rough language. Name-calling and putting others down is a way to fend them off and keep them in their place. As a result, you develop a thick skin and don’t get offended at the smallest things.

You learn to shrug it off and develop strong friendships and business relationships regardless. The raw language becomes part and parcel of the kibitzing and fellowship. While people should not act this way in polite company, the foul language or derogatory terms do not equate to malicious intent.  If you haven’t experienced life in a neighborhood or culture like this, it’s tough to understand and relate to.

Once I grasped this concept, it helped me identify what bigotry is and isn’t. When guys from the Old Neighborhood trash-talk each other over beers, they aren’t displaying bigotry. You may cringe when they pick up the microphone at you cousin’s wedding, but you know they still have a heart of gold

In a country and culture that work hard to overcome prejudice, it can be very easy to label people as bigots by the words they say. But remember, different generations and geographical areas have different ways of communicating. Make sure you honor your parents by respecting their history and taking the time to understand where they are coming from.

Can you relate to this? Do you have similar stories to tell about your parents or grandparents? I’d love to hear them! Contact me at skobrin@stevenkobrin.com to share your experiences.  

About Steve

Steven Kobrin is a life insurance expert with 25 years experience. He serves high net-worth individuals and business owners as well as high risk and uninsurable “impaired cases.” Steven offers concierge life insurance process to ensure the policy is approved as it’s quoted. To learn more, visit his website, read his blog, connect with him on LinkedIn, or request a policy audit today by calling his office at (866) 633-1818 or by email at skobrin@stevenkobrin.com. Steven is a contributor to investopedia, view his profile here.

 

Want to learn more?
Read my free guide, How To Get Great Life Insurance Rates and learn how you can get life insurance companies to compete for your business, at no risk or extra cost.

Honor Your Parents and Choose a Long Life

honor-your-parents

Our parents are often the most important influencers in our lives. As such, our relationships with them can significantly impact the quality and even quantity of our years.

I recently laid my mother to rest. She fought a long battle with illness and at every step along the way she attempted to fend off death and embrace whatever ray of light the new day brought her way. Prior to her passing, I also laid my father to rest. He too had a great determination to live and tried to dedicate his last days to a most worthy cause.  

The Reward of Honoring Your Parents

I am sure that many of you have also had a similar experience with your parents or know of others who have. You understand the tremendous stress, strain, and fear of facing the demise of a loved one. It can wear you down and make life feel like a burden you are anxious to cast off. Yet the Bible tells us that caring for a parent can have the opposite effect. In the Fifth Commandment, it says:

“Honor thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.” (Exodus 20.11; Deuteronomy 5:15)

Can caring for an ailing parent actually increase the length of your own life? I think it can. Here’s how:

An Opportunity to Honor

It’s no secret that mental anguish and emotional disturbance can negatively affect your health. Unresolved conflict, resentments, and anger, among other destructive emotions, have the power to cause illness.  If ignored or not treated properly, they can even lead to death. Such is the poison of unfinished business.

It seems that a common and primary source of our unfinished business is our relationship with our parents. Father issues, mother issues, problems with each of them and with both of them, stretching over decades. What a burden to carry!

But then they reach their final stage of life and they become the dependent one. You now step into a caregiver role and have the responsibility to be there for them and take care of them. As a result, all the unfinished business often comes rushing to the forefront. This unique time is a prime opportunity to unload past issues and work through them as you attempt to give your parents the honor they deserve.

When you take these steps, you become clean of the poisons that can harm your life. You free yourself of the mental and emotional hazards that can cut your life short and you restore your potential for a naturally long life.

Have you experienced something similar? Are you currently going through this kind of situation? I’d love to hear your story. Ask anything by emailing me at skobrin@stevenkobrin.com.

About Steve

Steven Kobrin is a life insurance expert with 25 years experience. He serves high net-worth individuals and business owners as well as high risk and uninsurable “impaired cases.” Steven offers concierge life insurance process to ensure the policy is approved as it’s quoted. To learn more, visit his website, read his blog, connect with him on LinkedIn, or request a policy audit today by calling his office at (866) 633-1818 or by email at skobrin@stevenkobrin.com.

 

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