Search Results for: #MeToo

Sexual Addiction and Life Insurance

You can’t tune into the news these days without hearing a breaking story about sexual abuse. The #MeToo Movement has brought to public attention the travesty of sexual predation that takes place in many industries. While its initial focus was on show business, victims from other arenas, such as finance and community service, are now stepping forward.

The Corruption of Power

The popular quote by Sir John Dalberg-Acton, “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely,” often rings true in these types of circumstances. It strikes me that a major motivation of predators is the abuse of the power they have over their employees and others they consider subordinate. They seem to have this thirst for taking unfair advantage of people, and dominating them. This drive is so strong that they will lie, threaten, bribe, extort, and stoop to any and all illegal and immoral means to first conquer, and then silence, their target.

How do people get to this point? Most certainly, the syndrome of fame and fortune brings out the worst in people. It can disproportionately swell their ego and make them believe normal rules no longer apply to them. In addition, our society has corporate structures that consolidate power among an elite few. This dominant upper echelon controls access to jobs, money, and services, forcing people to pay homage to them. Then, of course, you have the masses of people who don’t play the game directly but know damn well what goes on, yet keep their mouths shut out of fear. Sadly, this even includes parties like the media who are supposed to uphold public standards and report to us when powerbrokers deviate from them.

But Is It More Than Just Abuse Of Power?

On top of all that, I think there is an additional factor at play. It’s noteworthy that many of these predators, once they are caught, end up going into sexual addiction rehabilitation. For some, of course, this is simply a public relations ploy and involves absolutely no introspection, treatment, or self-improvement. But for others, it really does transform their lives. It seems that addiction is a significant component in the makeup of power brokers who prey on their underlings for sex.

I have come across people with sexual addiction during the course of my life insurance career. One case, in particular, stands out in my mind. It involved a gentleman who was an executive with a major corporation who continually engaged in sex with women in his office. He was so out of control that he would do this when employees were in the next room or just before people were expected to meet with him. The possibility of almost getting caught thrilled him and he couldn’t get enough of that perverse excitement.

His wife found out about it and threatened to divorce him if he didn’t get help. So he spent a lot of money out of his own pocket and entered an intensive 30-day inpatient program. He came to me for help in buying life insurance soon after he was discharged. He was eager to rechannel his newfound energy and expand his business activity.

Life Insurance Challenges For Addicts

The truth is that anybody coming right out of rehab, whatever the reason for it, is in for a challenge when trying to get life insurance. Underwriters have a number of legitimate concerns, especially since one type of addiction can lead to another. People with an addiction to sex can also have an addiction to alcohol and drugs. Underwriters will want to know: Are any medications being used in treatment? What side effects or adverse impact on health can they have? Is the client fully compliant with his physician’s prescription for counseling, support groups, etc.? Have they had trouble with the law? What about financial troubles? What’s the possibility of relapse?

Fortunately, this candidate trusted the prequalification process and felt comfortable going through full disclosure. He told me about growing up in a war-torn country, where he felt his life was in danger every day. Living on the edge of death was both terrifying, yet thrilling. For him, these risky sexual encounters were a way of reliving that thrill. Plus, in his culture, children, especially young boys, were considered playthings by tribal leaders. His abuse at their hands, combined with the dangers of daily living, led him to become a sexual thrill-seeker as an adult.

To his credit, he became aware of this internal strife as he went to rehab and therapy. He worked hard at gaining control of his overwhelming thoughts and desires. His treating physician concurred that he had made great progress and had reached the point of control and stability. This backstory reassured the underwriter that this gentleman was indeed ready to take on the commitment of a life insurance policy. They gave him a very competitive rate and enabled him to buy the coverage he needed to keep building his business.

Addiction Is Not The End Of The Story

Sexual addiction is very real and a serious obstacle to overcome. But it is not the last chapter of your story. If you’ve struggled with anything of this nature, or know someone who has, be encouraged that you can conquer this and that life insurance is not out of the question for you. If you want to partner with someone who will respect your backstory and advocate for you through the prequalification process, schedule a free 15-minute introductory phone call online.

About Steve

Steven H. Kobrin, LUTCF, owns and operates a national life insurance brokerage. He is a life insurance specialist, and expert in helping clients that are higher-risk or need special handling. He is affiliated with a premier general agent and master general agency to distribute top-of-the-line financial produces and services. Through them, he forms strategic partnerships with insurance brokers, financial advisors, and financial institutions to expand client services, increase sales, and generate referral income.

 

Want to learn more?
Read my free guide, How To Get Great Life Insurance Rates and learn how you can get life insurance companies to compete for your business, at no risk or extra cost.

How Not To Play God With Your Employees

In our last article, we talked about not pretending that you own your clients. You do this by treating them as the freethinking individuals that they are and not taking them for granted. This ensures that they do business with you voluntarily out of their perceived self-interest and keeps your relationship in a win-win mode.

When you are a business owner or manager, it’s easy to focus on the end product or the work being produced instead of the person doing the work. It’s tempting to treat people as your pawns since they are working for you and doing what you are asking of them. But is this the right way to go? Does playing God with your employees really help anyone in the long run?

The Golden Rule

Just as with your clients, you don’t own your employees and no one will benefit from you taking them for granted. Each employee is an individual with free will who could give you their best, day in and day out if given the respect and appreciation they deserve.

Respect and appreciation are not hard to provide and simple consideration and courtesy can go a long way. When I was a teenager, I had a job at a local pharmacy stocking shelves in the general supplies section. The store manager called every one of us kids who worked there Mister and Miss, speaking to us politely by saying, “Please bring these boxes to the warehouse, Mr. Kobrin,” instead of “Take these boxes now.” That had a profound impact on me. Even though we were all just starting out in business and, for many of us, this was our first real job, he treated us like adults. He could have just as easily bossed us around, following the example of many other authority figures. But the fact that he gave us a measure of respect made a difference. I know that I felt like a somebody in both my own eyes and his and that many of my coworkers felt the same way.

The Benefits Of Respect

If you want hard workers that respect you, playing God won’t give you the results you want. In the personal example above, I can attest to the fact that we all worked extra hard for this man. He was smart and knew how to put our eagerness and enthusiasm to good use, for both our benefit and his. When he saw that one of us was ready, he would give us a challenge, whether it was stocking an entire aisle for the first time or putting special merchandise in a prominent display. Each one of these challenges was an opportunity to show how good we were at our job and how far we had come in our training. While it could be nerve-racking at times because there was more on the line and you had to meet a higher standard of performance, our boss was encouraging and you could be confident he wouldn’t have asked you to take on this task if he didn’t think you were ready.

A Better Way

This pattern of appreciation and respect is the way to deal with employees, especially when they are young. This is how you groom them and grow them in your company and create an atmosphere of loyalty. You can’t demand respect of your employees. If you give respect, you will get respect. You can’t treat them like pieces on your personal chessboard. In all my years of working, I have known many employers who didn’t care about their employees and saw each man and woman as a commodity to be used and tossed away. Or even worse, to be continually used and abused. This type of boss thinks he’s God and can do anything he wants with you, just because you work for him.

The #MeToo movement shows us how malevolent and damaging this attitude can get. These powerful Hollywood elite think they can have their way with young actors and actresses, simply because they work for them. I really can’t think of a better way to kill morale and squash careers, as many survivors have attested, and it’s all because these moguls pretend they are God.

This is the lesson to walk away with: just because you have power doesn’t mean you wield it over your employees. Don’t let it get to your head.

I’m sure many of you also have stories where you have seen this principle play out. What were the effects on you? How has it changed how you treat your employees? Contact me at skobrin@stevenkobrin.com or schedule a free 15-minute introductory phone call online to discuss this topic with me further!

About Steve

Steven H. Kobrin, LUTCF, owns and operates a national life insurance brokerage. He is a life insurance specialist, and expert in helping clients that are higher-risk or need special handling. He is affiliated with a premier general agent and master general agency to distribute top-of-the-line financial produces and services. Through them, he forms strategic partnerships with insurance brokers, financial advisors, and financial institutions to expand client services, increase sales, and generate referral income.

 

Want to learn more?
Read my free guide, How To Get Great Life Insurance Rates and learn how you can get life insurance companies to compete for your business, at no risk or extra cost.

Sexual Issues and Life Insurance

One of the most talked about cultural and societal issues of late is that of sexuality and gender. The #MeToo movement supporting victims of sexual harassment has brought many secrets to light, with influential leaders in many industries being accused of sexual misconduct. Freedom and rights surrounding gender identity have become a national conversation, and abortion and controversy go hand in hand.

This is a highly personal, very provocative, and therefore often taboo, topic, yet it affects many people who apply for life insurance. You might be thinking, “I can understand how drinking and smoking affect my eligibility for life insurance, but what do sexual issues have to do with anything?” This next series of articles will focus on how sexual issues impact your quest for life insurance and will give you the tools you need to help you take charge of the process if you have personal experience in this area.

An Underwriting Review

First, a review. We know that life insurance underwriting is tremendously comprehensive. It considers your current medical condition, health history, family medical history, lifestyle, vocation, avocation, and legal, financial, and motor vehicle records.

Why is it so comprehensive? The simple answer is that whether directly or indirectly, all of these factors affect your mortality. We’ve discussed this in prior articles but it’s a point that bears repeating. In some cases, the connection to mortality is pretty obvious. If you are fifty pounds overweight, climb mountains, or drive your car recklessly, you know that you are tempting death more than people of normal build or those who play softball as a hobby.

Other risks are less clear. If you had a bankruptcy discharged last year, does that mean you’re closer to death? Certain carriers might think twice about insuring you for business reasons, but does it mean your life expectancy has been shortened? In truth, the answer to questions like this is that it depends.

It’s Personal

This is what makes life insurance underwriting so complicated and so personal. For example, if you went bankrupt because a family member was diagnosed with cancer and you spent your life savings on medical treatment, you are in a very different boat than someone who filed for bankruptcy because they developed a cocaine habit and threw their income away. The questions on the insurance application could bring the personal backstory to light, and when an underwriter knows the backstory, it gives context to your disclosures on your application. This perspective can help you get a fair risk assessment and a reasonable premium.

You can see that the backstory highlights something deeply personal and significant about you, giving insight into your lifestyle, life experiences, and life choices. These factors together contribute to your insurability today. I have found that certain types of lifestyles, experiences, and choices can have a truly profound impact on us and greatly affect our insurability, especially if the impact has been negative. This is very true of sexual issues and problems.

How Sexual Issues Affect Insurability

Let’s look at the example of abortion. For many women, having an abortion is extremely traumatic, leading to anxiety, depression, addictions, and even attempted suicide. If you have had an abortion and consequently developed any of these conditions, then you will need to disclose them on your life insurance application. You may be doing okay now, but your backstory will need to be told in order to reassure the underwriter that your conditions are related to a past trauma and not due to an ongoing stress that could get worse.

Every day the news reminds us of the prominent role abortion and other sexually-related issues play in our lives. The #MeToo movement may be highlighting the danger of sexual harassment in Hollywood, but we all know it takes place in offices, factories, and every other place where men and women meet. It’s a big deal when famous celebrities and athletes go into rehab for sexual addiction, but how many of us have wives, husbands, siblings, and parents with the same compulsion? Girls on the US Gymnastics team were sexually abused by their team physician for decades and tragically, children are abused in homes, schools, and camps every day.

A common thread among the survivors of these various ordeals is the lifelong impact the experience has had on them. It’s no wonder that many have developed a number of psychological, emotional, and physical ailments. Fortunately, many have also overcome these challenges to lead productive and happy lives. These success stories have to be told when you apply for life insurance, and you must answer “yes” to the various questions about your mental and physical health.

What To Expect

In the upcoming articles about sexual issues and life insurance, we will share some of the success stories from both our files and elsewhere in the industry. Hopefully, they will encourage you to tell your own story openly and positively. Your backstory will be key to making sure you get the best treatment and pricing available during prequalification and underwriting. My firm specializes in life insurance cases that are high risk or difficult to place. We walk you through the entire process and advocate for you every step of the way. If you are ready to apply for life insurance but know that there are things in your past that may affect your eligibility,  contact me at skobrin@stevenkobrin.com and download our free guide.

About Steve

Steven H. Kobrin, LUTCF, owns and operates a national life insurance brokerage. He is a life insurance specialist, and expert in helping clients that are higher-risk or need special handling. He is affiliated with a premier general agent and master general agency to distribute top-of-the-line financial produces and services. Through them, he forms strategic partnerships with insurance brokers, financial advisors, and financial institutions to expand client services, increase sales, and generate referral income.

 

Want to learn more?
Read my free guide, How To Get Great Life Insurance Rates and learn how you can get life insurance companies to compete for your business, at no risk or extra cost.